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Simon满分小作文详解1【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】

Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官,由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议,甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手,非常地道,言简意赅,和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比,着实让人眼前一亮。小站的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文,所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华,相信大家都可以扔掉模板,写出高分作文!

话不多说,我们来看这样一个小作文:

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984.

看到这样一个图形大家会觉得这道题很难吧,Simon看到题目时这样说,“I found this one difficult, so don't worry if you did too!”。所以大家别怕,连雅思考官都说难呢!

我们先来分析一下,该图描述的是法国和印度两个国家的不同年龄的人群所占的比例。从图中我们可以看出,印度人口显然比法国整体上要年轻,因为20岁以下印度的人口占了相当大的比例;而法国呢,则上年纪的人居多。

再说得细致点,印度小于五岁的人口占了14%%uFF0C从上往下随着年纪呈递增趋势;法国相对就比较分散了,0到40岁的人似乎都在7%%u81F38%%u4E4B间波动。70岁以上人口法国大概有15%%uFF0C而印度只有2%%u3002

然后我们再来说性别,50岁以上的法国女人显著比法国男人比例高,而印度人口在男女比例上却看不出显著不同。

分析完了思路,我们马上来看一下Simon写的这篇满分作文吧!

The two charts compare the populations of France and India in terms of age distribution by gender in the year 1984.(第一段不需要太长,简单明了,留下好印象,提起考官兴趣。)

It is clear that the population of India was younger than that of France in 1984, with a noticeably larger proportion of people aged under 20. France, on the other hand, had a significantly larger percentage of elderly inhabitants.(先介绍两个国家整体上最明显的对比)

In India, close to 14% of people were aged 5 or under, and each five-year age bracket above this contained an increasingly smaller proportion of the population. France’s population, by contrast, was more evenly distributed across the age ranges, with similar figures (around 7% to 8% of all people) for each five-year cohort between the ages of 0 and 40. Somewhere between 10% and 15% of all French people were aged 70 or older, but the equivalent figure for India was only 2%.(详细分析两个国家差别最明显的年龄群体并以详实的数据进行描述)

Looking more closely at gender, there was a noticeably higher proportion of French women than men in every cohort from age 50 upwards. For example, almost 3% of French 70- to 75-year-olds were women, while just under 2% were men. No significant gender differences can be seen on the Indian population chart.(最后不忘从性别的角度去分析人口比例的差距。图表中信息已经全部展现,无须结尾)

(199 words, band 9)

最后,小站老师想要强调的是,Simon作为native speaker,对于词汇的使用非常精准,所以请同学们务必把Phoebe老师标绿的这些单词,了解其汉意和使用,今后尽量让这些词汇出现在自己的作文里,也写出地道的好文章。今天先到这里,各位加油!需要更多写作技巧的点击这里

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