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【9分作文盛宴】simon考官华丽雅思大作文详解:野生动物篇

2015年08月12日14:44 来源:小站教育作者:Phoebe
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摘要:Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官,由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气,尤其是他亲笔写下的那些满分作文。今天小站的Phoebe老师又帮大家带来一篇Simon的大作文的详细解析,关于保护野生动物的态度问题。

Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官,由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议,甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手,非常地道,言简意赅,和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比,着实让人眼前一亮。小站的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文,所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华,相信大家都可以扔掉模板,写出高分作文!

【9分作文盛宴】simon考官华丽雅思大作文详解:野生动物篇图1

今天我们来看一篇以Wild Animal为Topic的大作文。 首先看一下题目:

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

显然这道题是属于agree or disagree类型的,对于这种题型,第一步就是要确定你是agree, disagree还是partly agree. 就这道题目而言,要么选择保护动物,珍视动物资源,要么选择无需保护动物资源,似乎很难做到partly agree。Simon也建议大家选择“completely disagree”。

确定观点之后,我们一如既往地,need a 4-paragraph plan.大家先试着写一下自己的plan,写好后来看一下Simon写的:

Introduce the topic (rights and protection of wild animals), then answer the question (completely disagree)

First reason why we disagree e.g. our duty to protect animals, their rights and place in the world

Second reason why we disagree e.g. the resources we should use to protect animals, and why this is not a waste

Conclusion: repeat / summarise our answer

如果把写作文比作盖房子的话,那Structure就是房梁,房梁搭建好了接下就是最重要的环节,填补Ideas。你能不能为第二段和第三段想到有深度有见解的Ideas将直接决定你的考试分数。所以大家平时要多多练习写作,尽量多的去为想论据,丰富中心思想。

而对于Introduction和Conclusion段落,大家要记住Simon的话:

The introduction and conclusion should be short, quick and direct. If you want a high score, spend your time on the main body.

我们来看一下Simon是如何写首尾段落的:

Introduction (topic + general answer)

Some people argue that it is pointless to spend money on the protection of wild animals because we humans have no need for them. I completely disagree with this point of view.

Conclusion (paraphrase the answer)

In conclusion, we have no right to decide whether or not wild animals should exist, and I believe that we should do everything we can to protect them.

大家可以看出,Simon写得简短直接,干净利落。首段引出Topic直接给出观点,尾段复述观点。文章的重心全部放在Body Paragraph,再次印证了那句“思想境界有多高,分数就有多高”。

【9分作文盛宴】simon考官华丽雅思大作文详解:野生动物篇图2

现在帮大家贴出完整范文:

Some people argue that it is pointless to spend money on the protection of wild animals because we humans have no need for them. I completely disagree with this point of view.

In my opinion, it is absurd to argue that wild animals have no place in the 21st century. I do not believe that planet Earth exists only for the benefit of humans, and there is nothing special about this particular century that means that we suddenly have the right to allow or encourage the extinction of any species. Furthermore, there is no compelling reason why we should let animals die out. We do not need to exploit or destroy every last square metre of land in order to feed or accommodate the world’s population. There is plenty of room for us to exist side by side with wild animals, and this should be our aim.

I also disagree with the idea that protecting animals is a waste of resources. It is usually the protection of natural habitats that ensures the survival of wild animals, and most scientists agree that these habitats are also crucial for human survival. For example, rainforests produce oxygen, absorb carbon dioxide and stabilise the Earth’s climate. If we destroyed these areas, the costs of managing the resulting changes to our planet would far outweigh the costs of conservation. By protecting wild animals and their habitats, we maintain the natural balance of all life on Earth.

In conclusion, we have no right to decide whether or not wild animals should exist, and I believe that we should do everything we can to protect them.

(269 words, band 9)

最后是本文重点词汇总结,很多单词大家都认识,但是却不知道如何使用地更加地道,小站老师再次建议大家通过记词组的形式去背单词,总结如下:

it is pointless to do 做...无意义

it is absurd to do 做...很荒谬

extinction=die out动物类写作、阅读、听力都非常常见的词汇,“灭绝”

compelling reason令人信服的原因,compelling可替换为convincing

feed or accommodate the world’s population通过这个词组掌握feed和accommodate的具体用法

stabilise:stable大家都很熟悉,它的动词形式也应该掌握,”使稳定“

far outweigh:远远超过,注意副词far的使用

今天到这里,大家发现Simon的文章已经精简到不屑于用连词了吗?到底就不应该过多使用连词呢,小站老师下期帮大家讲解!需要更多写作技巧的点击这里


特别申明:本文来自于小站教育【雅思写作】专栏,转载请以超链接形式标注本文出处,并附上此申明,否则将追究法律责任。

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