【9分作文盛宴】考官华丽雅思大作文详解7：青少年义务社区工作

2015年08月17日13:22 来源：小站教育作者：Phoebe: 参与（0）阅读（7337）

摘要：Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官，由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气，尤其是他亲笔写下的那些满分作文。今天小站的Phoebe老师又帮大家带来一篇Simon的大作文的详细解析，关于同意与否题型，关于青少年成长话题，详情请见文章。

Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官，由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议，甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手，非常地道，言简意赅，和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比，着实让人眼前一亮。小站的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文，所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华，相信大家都可以扔掉模板，写出高分作文!

今天要分析的是一篇大作文。题目：

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.

Do you agree or disagree?

在写作之前先帮大家带来Simon的一个非常有用的建议。很多学生都会问Simon这样一个问题Is there any specific study order that you recommend?为此Simon给出了非常具体的回答，相信大家看完之后对于写作文不会再一头雾水。以下是他建议的study order：

1. Essay structure and paragraphs

The first thing to do is find an essay structure that works for you. You probably know that I prefer to write 4 paragraphs, and maybe you've seen how I write 2-sentence introductions, 5-sentence main paragraphs and 1-sentence conclusions. Try this: take some essays that you have already written, and rewrite them so that they all have the same number of paragraphs and sentences.

首先要想好文章的Structure。Simon喜欢写4段式——开头两句，主体段落各五句，结尾一句。大家可以尝试将之前写好的作文都重新写成这种结构。

2. Question types

You need to see examples of the four question types, and make sure you know how to answer each type using your preferred essay structure.

平时多看大作文四种类型的范文，针对题目类型，选用合适的Structure。

3. Planning, and isolated paragraph practice

Take several different questions, and practise planning ideas. Then spend some time focusing only on introductions e.g. write an introduction for five different questions. Then do the same with conclusions. Then try writing different types of main paragraph e.g. an 'advantages' paragraph, an 'opinion' paragraph, a 'problem' paragraph etc.

选一些题目，练习planning ideas.比如可以写五篇不同题目的introduction，或者写不同类型题目的主体段落。

4. Topic ideas

When you are confident that you know how to write an essay, it's time to start working through as many common IELTS writing topics as possible. Even if you don't write a full essay for each topic, you should at least plan some ideas and opinions.

当你足够自信到知道如何写文章的时候，你就可以尽可能多地写各种不同题材的常见写作题目。参考见链接

5. Mistakes, corrections and improvements

Try to find someone who can check your writing, highlight and explain your mistakes, and show you how to improve your essays.

找个能帮你检查作文的小伙伴，能指出错误并告诉你如何改善。

以上就是Simon对于study order的建议，接下大家按照Simon的指示，写一下今天的作文，写好之后可对照范文。

满分范文：

Many young people work on a volunteer basis, and this can only be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole. However, I do not agree that we should therefore force all teenagers to do unpaid work.

Most young people are already under enough pressure with their studies, without being given the added responsibility of working in their spare time. School is just as demanding as a full-time job, and teachers expect their students to do homework and exam revision on top of attending lessons every day. When young people do have some free time, we should encourage them to enjoy it with their friends or to spend it doing sports and other leisure activities. They have many years of work ahead of them when they finish their studies.

At the same time, I do not believe that society has anything to gain from obliging young people to do unpaid work. In fact, I would argue that it goes against the values of a free and fair society to force a group of people to do something against their will. Doing this can only lead to resentment amongst young people, who would feel that they were being used, and parents, who would not want to be told how to raise their children. Currently, nobody is forced to volunteer, and this is surely the best system.

In conclusion, teenagers may choose to work for free and help others, but in my opinion we should not make this compulsory.

(250 words, band 9)

词汇总结：

on a volunteer basis:on a … basis“以…为基础”，是一个非常常见且好用的词组，如charge on an annual basis以年基础收费，take care of your skin on a regular basis定期护理面部

revision:动词是revise,也常见于阅读，修改，修定

obliging:形容词，乐于助人的;其动词是oblige，意为强迫

resentment:怨恨，可替换hate

compulsory:强制的，Compulsory education义务教育

今天先到这儿，需要更多写作技巧的点击这里！

【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】Simon满分大作文详解8

【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】Simon满分大作文详解9

【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】Simon满分大作文详解10