【9分作文盛宴】simon考官华丽雅思大作文详解4：环境破坏与保护

2015年08月26日16:49 来源：小站教育作者：Phoebe: 参与（0）阅读（6864）

摘要：Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官，由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气，尤其是他亲笔写下的那些满分作文。今天小站的Phoebe老师又帮大家带来一篇Simon的大作文的详细解析，今天的话题是环境破坏与保护，是问题与解决方法题型。

Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官，由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议，甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手，非常地道，言简意赅，和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比，着实让人眼前一亮。小站的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文，所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华，相信大家都可以扔掉模板，写出高分作文！

今天带来一篇大作文，题目如下：

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

在写作文之前，先讲一个Simon的非常有用的建议。Simon说，some students were surprised that you can get a band 9 using "Firstly, Secondly, Finally".Is the phrase "First and foremost" better than "Firstly"?有一些学生见他的文章使用"Firstly, Secondly, Finally"这样的词语，很吃惊，所以就问词组"First and foremost"是否比"Firstly"要好？

The answer is NO.回答是No。理由是：

Using simple organising language like "Firstly, Secondly" makes you focus on the REAL CONTENT of what you are writing - topic vocabulary, collocations, examples. This is what the examiner wants to see.(使用简单的词汇可以让你更加专注在真正的内容上，这才是考官想看到的)

Spend your time preparing ideas, opinions and examples for IELTS topics, not learning alternative ways to write "Firstly".(要把时间花在准备思想，意见和举例上，而不是花心思去找firstly的替代词)

总之呢，内容核心是分数高低的关键。接下来大家写一下今天的作文，写好和范文对照。

完整范文：

Humans are responsible for a variety of environmental problems, but we can also take steps to reduce the damage that we are causing to the planet. This essay will discuss environmental problems and the measures that governments and individuals can take to address these problems.

Two of the biggest threats to the environment are air pollution and waste. Gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles lead to global warming, which may have a devastating effect on the planet in the future. As the human population increases, we are also producing ever greater quantities of waste, which contaminates the earth and pollutes rivers and oceans.

Governments could certainly make more effort to reduce air pollution. They could introduce laws to limit emissions from factories or to force companies to use renewable energy from solar, wind or water power. They could also impose ‘green taxes’ on drivers and airline companies. In this way, people would be encouraged to use public transport and to take fewer flights abroad, therefore reducing emissions.

Individuals should also take responsibility for the impact they have on the environment. They can take public transport rather than driving, choose products with less packaging, and recycle as much as possible. Most supermarkets now provide reusable bags for shoppers as well as ‘banks’ for recycling glass, plastic and paper in their car parks. By reusing and recycling, we can help to reduce waste.

In conclusion, both national governments and individuals must play their part in looking after the environment.

Note:

This essay is exactly 250 words long. I've tried to make it as simple as possible, but it's still good enough to get a band 9.

词汇总结：

exhaust fumes: 汽车尾气

vehicles: 车辆，交通工具

devastating: 破坏性的

quantity: 数量

contaminate: 污染

emission: 排放物

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