雅思9分范文精解 保护濒危物种话题
- 2015年10月21日18:42 来源：小站整理作者：victor
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环境类的雅思写作话题是所有话题类型中很热门的一个话题，每年必考，也是雅思作文必练题型，一般包括，新旧能源，个人能否解决环境问题，政府和大公司谁该为环境问题负责等。
A 题目：
Trying to save endangered animals species from extinction is a waste of valuable recourses. Do you agree or disagree?Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
B 范文：
The issue of whether we should attempt to save endangered species from extinction or not is certainly a contentious one. Despite the arguments of some people that such animals serve no useful purpose and should be allowed to die out just as many others (including the dinosaurs) have in the past, it is my personal belief that they should in fact be preserved. Two of the principal reasons for this are as follows.
Firstly, it is vital that we appreciate the importance of endangered species in maintaining the balance of nature. Ecosystems are delicate arrangements where plants and animals all depend on each other for survival. The disappearance or introduction of any animal species disrupts the balance and negatively impacts upon other plants and animals by breaking the food chain and altering the habitat in which they live. Such imbalances frequently return to haunt us in unexpected ways. Just as rabbits that were introduced to Australia soon after European settlement now compete with native species for food and destroy farmers’ crops, the extinction of a predator can cause plagues by allowing its prey to multiply unchecked. Therefore, since ecological change constitutes a potential risk to us and our environment, it is clearly in our own interests to protect endangered species.
Yet, perhaps the strongest argument in favor of preserving endangered species is that all life has intrinsic values; even if endangered species are not useful to us in any practical way they should be preserved nevertheless. further, given that we humans are responsible for destroying the natural habitat of many endangered animals, we should make every possible effort to save them.
In conclusion, I once again restate my view that saving endangered species is worthwhile. Not only do they help to maintain the balance of nature, but they also have value in and of themselves.
(305 words)
C 分析：
1.Task response(TR)
首先我们先从TR方面分析一下
Whether all parts of the task are addressed
(是否解决任务的所有部分)
经过审题我们发现这是一个个人观点类的作文，即What are your opinions on this? 给出你自己的观点，其要求是Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience，根据自己的知识或经验给出相关的例子。其中如果用自己的知识论证那就是道理论证，如果根据自己的经验来论证那就涉及到了举例论证。
文章首段第一句就抛出了一个问题，是否应该拯救濒危动物，并且让步指出了别人的观点，之后给出自己的观点，即it is my personal belief that they should in fact be preserved.个人观点是应该保护濒危动物的，并且埋下伏笔两个原因如下。接下来的两个主体段给出了作者自己的论点以及论据，最后总结段简短有力。 这篇文章还是完成了题目要求的所有内容的。
Whether a viewpoint is clearly expressed, developed and supported
其次我们在看看作者表达的观点是否清晰，有说服力
文章的第一个论点Firstly, it is vital that we appreciate the importance of endangered species in maintaining the balance of nature. 首先,至关重要的是,我们能够认识到濒危物种在维护大自然的平衡的重要性。接下来作者先用到了道理论证，有力的说明了生态系统是脆弱的，很容易被破坏的， 以及生态系统不平衡之后会产生的严重后果。随后作者又运用了举例论证，以澳大利亚引进欧洲兔子为例，兔子引进之后没有天敌，导致了生态平衡的破坏。所以我 们的目标就是保护濒临动物以及生态系统。
Yet, perhaps the strongest argument in favor of preserving endangered species is that all life has intrinsic values文章的第二个论点：然而,也许最有力的论据支持保护濒危物种是所有生命内在的价值观。接下来作者用了一个让步的写法，尽管濒危动物对我们来说 并没有实际的用处，但是人类还是有责任来保护我们破坏的自热环境以及濒危动物。
作者运用了举例论证和道理相结合还有让步的手法，使文章有理有据，很有说服力。
那下面我们一起看一下文章在连贯和衔接方面有什么值得借鉴的吧。
2.Cohesion and coherence (CC)
首先讲一下写作中使用连接词有什么作用：
1. 使得文章框架明晰，逻辑结构合理。
2. 起到承上启下，语篇连贯自然的作用。
3. 使得文章层次分明，结构严谨。
文章中句与句直接的衔接词有：despite(尽管 表让步)，therefore(因此 表结果)，even if(即使 表让步)，further(此外 表进一步说明)，not only…but also(不仅…而且 表示强调)等等。这些单词在文章段落中表示着一定的逻辑关系，这些词的实用会使段落直接更加的顺畅自然。
段与段之间的连接词有Two of the principal reasons for this are as follows. Firstly, it is vital that we appreciate the …第一句话是首段的结尾句，两个原因如下，而第二句是主体段的开头第一个原因是…很好的做到了承上启下的作用。In conclusion总之，也是段与段之间的一个连接词组，让读者清晰明白到这是总结段。
3.Lexical resources (LR)
这篇文章在词汇方面也有很多可圈可点之处：
Contentious 有争议的
Principal reasons 首要的原因
Die out 灭绝
Preserved 被保护
Ecosystems 生态系统
delicate 脆弱的
disrupts 使紊乱
imbalances 不平衡
haunt us 困扰着我们
in unexpected ways 出乎意料的方式
extinction of a predator 捕食者灭绝
plagues 瘟疫
multiply unchecked 不加抑制的繁殖
ecological change 生态变化
constitutes 构成
a potential risk 潜在的风险
endangered species 濒危物种
strongest argument 最有力的论证
in favor of 支持
preserving endangered species 保护濒危物种
intrinsic values 内在价值
natural habitat 自然栖息地
make every possible effort to 尽一切可能的努力
restate my view 重申我的观点
worthwhile 值得做的
maintain the balance of 保持…的平衡
这些都是文章中运用的非常棒的单词，值得我们背下来并且运用到自己的写作中。
4.Grammatical range and accuracy (GRA)
语法的正确复杂，句式的多样也是评分标准的一个很重要的方面。文章的开头句The issue of whether we should attempt to save endangered species from extinction or not is certainly a contentious one.就用到了一个主语从句，充分显示了作者扎实的语法功底。it is my personal belief that…涉及到了强调句式，第二段的开头it is vital that we appreciate…为了避免头重脚轻用到了形式主语。
D 总结：
通过对这篇满分环境类范文的分析，我们可以知道，想要写好一篇分数很高的文章应该做到以下几点：
1，审清题目，明白题目的要求，完成题目所给任务
2，论点要有理有据，可以使用道理论证和举例论证相结合
3，多使用恰当的连接词，是文章更加流畅自然
4，注意词汇的使用，尽量高级有深度
5，语法要避免单一以及大量简单句，尽量使句式的多样化
以上就是小站雅思频道为大家带来的雅思大作文精解文章，祝早日与雅思分手，永不相见。
