- 2016年01月18日11:23 来源：小站整理
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原因是，考官不是non-native speaker, 他们不了解你们的最大问题 是“ 逻辑”+“ 词组”
Topic:In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
sample essay:In recent years it has become far more normal for people to live alone, particularly in large cities in the developed world. In my opinion, this trend is having both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.
The rise in one-person households can be seen as positive for both personal and broader economic reasons. On an individual level, people who choose to live alone may become more independent and self-reliant than those who live with family members. A young adult who lives alone, for example, will need to learn to cook, clean, pay bills and manage his or her budget, all of which are valuable life skills. From an economic perspective, the trend towards living alone will result in greater demand for housing. This is likely to benefit the construction industry, estate agents and a whole host of other companies that rely on homeowners to buy their products or services.
However, the personal and economic arguments given above can be considered from the opposite angle. Firstly, rather than the positive feeling of increased independence, people who live alone may experience feelings of loneliness, isolation and worry. They miss out on the emotional support and daily conversation that family or flatmates can provide, and they must bear the weight of all household bills and responsibilities; in this sense, perhaps the trend towards living alone is a negative one. Secondly, from the financial point of view, a rise in demand for housing is likely to push up property prices and rents. While this may benefit some businesses, the general population, including those who live alone, will be faced with rising living costs.
In conclusion, the increase in one-person households will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on individuals and on the economy.
Simon 自己对于范文的分析： Band 9
Coherence and cohesion
Ideas are presented in a logical and organised way.
Cohesive devices (linking) are used in an effective but subtle way - they help with the development of ideas, but do not overshadow those ideas.
“ ideas are presented in a logical and organised way”
请问，哪一个句子叫做 ” organizsed in a logical way”?怎么样写就不logical?你可以回答这个问题吗?
Simon材料唯一的缺陷就是，不具体，没有把“ logical way” 在文中的具体体现，举例子说明。这样对于non-native speaker 来说，是很难理解的。
第二个段落的 Topic sentence:
包括了该段落两个分论点的概括： personal and broader economic reasons
( Simon 只给出了2个词组，我一般会给出3个)
People who choose to live alone may become more independent and self-reliant than those who live with family members.
a: live alone
b: more independent and self-reliant
这样的时间顺序，叫做“ logical way”
A young adult who lives alone, for example, will need to learn to cook, clean, pay bills and manage his or her budget, all of which are valuable life skills.
a: live alone = a young adult who lives alone ( 将人物具体化)
b: independent=learn to cook, clean, pay bills and mange budget ( 将独立做的事情具体化)
这样解释以后，你有没有对” logical way” 有了更“具体” 的认识?