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【雅思开讲啦】实例精讲9分雅思大作文写作思路 让考官范文带你飞

2016年03月23日16:20 来源:小站教育作者:小站雅思编辑
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摘要:雅思前考官的最新力作,关于problem+solution”题型,关于“城市”题材的雅思大作文,看simon如何继续使用他的“4段13句”完美万能大作文模板,用273字的篇幅,将这个比较有难度的话题斩于马下。

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

【雅思开讲啦】实例精讲9分雅思大作文写作思路 让考官范文带你飞图1

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导读时间:

这是一个典型的“problem+solution”题型的雅思话题。在结构上非常适合4段式的雅思作文结构:导入+问题+解决办法+总结,所以,在5分钟的审题阶段里,首先可以确定的是文章结构。其次是导入段里的全文观点句,然后就是文章主体的两段——“问题段段和“解决方法段”的主题句,如果这几步都非常顺利,继续细化下去,就要针对段落的主题句,写支撑它的2-3个观点句。也就是说这是一般雅思写作前的头脑风暴时间里要确定的4件事:1.文章结构;2.全文立场;3主体段主题句;4主体段观点句。当然这说的是最理想的一种情况。在临场条件下,根据自身的状态和话题的难易度,可以省略4,甚至是3。但是,对于想拿7+分数的同学,1,2是绝对不能略过的。

好了,对于这个话题,解读至此,现在看考官的范文,看他是如何处理的。

1.Cities are often seen as places of opportunity, but there are also some major drawbacks of living in a large metropolis. In my opinion, governments could do much more to improve city life for the average inhabitant.

2.The main problem for anyone who hopes to migrate to a large city is that the cost of living is likely to be much higher than it is in a small town or village. Inhabitants of cities have to pay higher prices for housing, transport, and even food. Another issue is that urban areas tend to suffer from social problems such as high crime and poverty rates in comparison with rural areas. Furthermore, the air quality in cities is often poor, due to pollution from traffic, and the streets and public transport systems are usually overcrowded. As a result, city life can be unhealthy and stressful.

3.However, there are various steps that governments could take to tackle these problems. Firstly, they could invest money in the building of affordable or social housing to reduce the cost of living. Secondly, politicians have the power to ban vehicles from city centres and promote the use of cleaner public transport, which would help to reduce both air pollution and traffic congestion. In London, for example, the introduction of a congestion charge for drivers has helped to curb the traffic problem. A third option would be to develop provincial towns and rural areas, by moving industry and jobs to those regions, in order to reduce the pressure on major cities.

4.In conclusion, governments could certainly implement a range of measures to enhance the quality of life for all city residents.

首先是高分词句时间:

首段:places of opportunity机会之地   in a large metropolis在一个大都市里  the average inhabitant 普通居民(注意是单数形式)

二段:cost of living生活成本  pay higher prices for housing为住房支付更高的费用

suffer from social  problems 遭遇社会问题

poverty rates贫困率  poor air quality空气质量差

pollution from traffic交通污染   public transport systems公共交通系统

三段:social housing社会福利住房  ban vehicles from city centres 在市中心禁车

cleaner public transport更为环保的公共交通 a congestion charge征收交通费

curb the traffic problem遏制交通问题 develop provincial towns发展省级市镇 reduce the pressure on减少压力

四段:enhance the quality of life提高生活质量 city residents城市居民

【雅思开讲啦】实例精讲9分雅思大作文写作思路 让考官范文带你飞图2

接着,分析行文的思路:

1. First paragraph gives a background information and a statement

(导入段由“背景信息+全文观点”构成)

2 . In second paragraph , problems are stated one after another by using linking words

(用衔接词串联起了3个观点句,并在点出了主题句)

The main problem ...is that

Another issue is that

Furthermore

As a result

需要重点说一下。simon自己在这一段承认了,故意没有按照传统的方式在段首摆出主题句,而是直接地接二连三用了3个观点句,来讲城市生活的3个问题。并最后得出了一个城市生活的总体的弊端“unhealthy and stressful”,这一句可以认为是全文的主题句。

3.In third paragraph ,there is a topic sentence after that measures are suggested for government

(标准的主题段写法:主题句+观点句+其中夹杂1个栗子)

However + topic sentence

Firstly

Secondly + one example

A third option would be ( to do ...)

这一段的衔接词,可以说和第二段的衔接词相应呈辉,非别是“the main+another+furthermore"和”firstly+secondly+third“。采用了副词+形容词组合使用来表达次序,没有丝毫的重复感,并且非常流畅,值得大家学习和模范。

4. Conclusion paragraph is very short but cut to the point

(总结段简短而切题)

总结段依然按照习惯的1句式,简洁明了。

最后总结一下simon的极简主义的雅思写作文风:

simon曾总结过自己的雅思大作文4段13句模板,屡试不爽,可以用于所有的题型,所有的话题。

Introduction(开头段): 2句

First main body paragraph(主体段1): 5 句

Second main body paragraph(主体段2): 5 句

Conclusion(结尾): 1 句

这是我知道的唯一的行得通的雅思写作满分模板,simon用这种他最擅长的方式写了各种范文,字数一般在270左右,很少超过300字。可见,字数真的说明不了什么,读他的作文,最大的体会就是,真的是没什么废话呀!

特别声明:本文来自于小站教育【雅思写作】专栏,转载请以超链接形式标注本文出处,并附上此申明,否则将追究法律责任。
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