雅思口语9分素材大搜集——童年之搞笑的事

2015年05月19日16:46 来源：小站整理作者：victor

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小时候，大概6、7岁的时候吧，我掉了一颗牙齿，那是第一次，牙齿也特别小。本来母亲非要扔掉的，我哀求半天，那颗牙齿被我保了下来，成了我的玩具。那时候，我有一个怪癖，觉得耳朵是一个很安全的收藏东西的场所，曾往里面藏过黄豆、花生米和小钢珠之类的。所以，这次，我很顺理成章地把那颗牙齿藏在了左耳里。要命的是，我很快忘记了这件事。大概三个星期后，我的左耳失聪，很快被送到了耳科医生那。症结当然很快找到，问题也随之解决。不过他的话，我还是记得很清楚的：他从小朋友的耳朵鼻子里拔除过很多奇怪的东西，但从来没有碰到过有牙齿的。

Lesson learned: your ears are not storage compartments!

看看，还有一些什么奇葩的趣事吧。（注：标红处为推荐关注的词汇或表达）

1. 童年经典梗：西瓜种子会在肚中发芽生长
One day as I was eating watermelon, I accidentally swallowed its seeds and my grandma told me that now its tree will grow inside my stomach and leaves would come out of my nose and ears. I was really worried, on my way to school I asked everybody I met, whether it was true. To my tragedy many of them said yes. I cried really very hard and was frightened even when my parents told me nothing like that would happen. It was only after they gave me a fake medicine, I stopped crying. After that I never ate watermelon, fearing that it might happen again, until I was 9.

My grandma still makes fun of me for that :)

2.changing my underwear in open
光天化日地不知男女有别
I Was in 2nd standard.

I went to my aunts house..

I was changing my underwear...(in open)

My aunt started teasing me..."shame shame shame..o o o ...shame shame"

I answered innocently

" Please Aunty don't make fun of me....And what’s wrong in it...

It's a body part only...Everyone is having...Don't you have..."

(Every one burst out in laughter and I started crying thinking That everyone is making fun of me)...

Today.I feel ...ohh shit man..!!!...What did I say...And giggle..!!

3. I believed I was as small as a finger when born.
我曾以为我是一个拇指菇凉。

"You know, you were so little when you were born, that i used to carry you around in my pocket. "

My uncle used to tell this to little me when I was 5-6 years old.

I bought the story and was curious about how I used to drink and eat when I was that small.

He told me that they used to pick me up with fingers and make me sit on the edge of a cup and I would sip some tea from the cup, while they watched over for my safety. And then they were feeding me little crumbs of bread.

he told me stories of how he carried me around, in his pocket, saving me from birds and assorted animals who wanted to pick me up.

When he told me that I was only as tall as my finger, I would get annoyed and run to my mother to verify his story. And my mother played along her part well.

At the end of all that, maybe several months later, I figured it out. I remember I coming to him to tell him something like this, " If i were that small when i was born, even you must have been that small too, when you were born. And somebody must have took you around in their pockets and picked you up with their fingers. But you are so big now, that i don't think you were ever that small. And so, even i were never that small". Haha, uncle had no answer for that.

Funeral of the story.

4. 见死不救的熊弟弟
I was 8-9 years old and my brother was around 4...my dad had just bought me a new pretty bicycle and after I learnt how to ride it my brother asked me to take him for a ride...I asked him to open the gate and wait outside and I will get on the bike and come outside and then he can sit behind...I hopped on andn started riding it...somehow lost balance...went outside fast and fell into the sewage gutter in front of the house which was left open for cleaning...I was covered from top to bottom in dirty water and stuff and my bicycle fell on me...my brother, instead of calling my parents for help...was jumping, clapping and shouting..."yay, u fell down!!"...meanwhile people in the street gathered around and pulled me out!

It took 3 showers to free myself off that stench

5. 字写得差的烦恼
As a child I used to fear Chinese the most , because of so many strokes for each character ).

So my elder cousin was teaching me Chinese one night, scolding me for not getting the handwriting right. Someone knocked the door and he went to entertain who-so-ever was outside.

In the mean time I tore a page from the notebook and wrote a note to him, stating that "I am leaving the house because of your scoldings; don't search for me." And I hid underneath the bed, hoping he'd get all tensed up and start searching for me and that he'd not teach me after this.

After he returned I couldn't see his reaction. After sometime he went out of the room. I sneaked my head out to see where he went. And he returned back the same instant.

I got another bashing for tearing pages from my school notebook and for not writing characters which he had asked me before leaving for the door.

Apparently I had written my note in Chinese in very bad handwriting and he couldn't even read it.

6. the meanest dad
坏到骨子里的老爸
My father told me that the school had put mini CCTV cameras in classrooms, and the live stream was provided to all parents so that they could keep an eye on their children.

He basically convinced me that he was monitoring every move of mine in school.

What's worse is, my dad was a master of reverse psychology. Every time he saw me look even remotely guilty, he'd ask, "Well, why did you do that at school today?" Cleverly, he never specified what 'that' was. I would think, "oh God! He knows!" and would be left with no option but to confess and apologize.

The consequence: Me were scared to spend more than 30 seconds in any one place (even for sharpening pencils!). If it was extremely necessary, I would talk to my classmates in as discreet a manner as possible. I used to be at my best behaviour even during recesses. And when I made slightest mistakes (for example: losing my eraser), I'd feel so guilty, I'd confess to him with tears in my eyes.

Fathers can be mean.

7.童年最经典的骗局
As young kids, my sister and I would love to sleep in on weekends if we could. So even if we actually woke up a bit earlier than usual, we'd lay in bed and pretend to be asleep when our dad came in to wake us up.

Dad would always catch our bluff, though, and tricked us into proving we were in fact awake by saying "Are these kids still really asleep? I would believe it if they shook their legs a little bit." Indeed, being the little suckers we were, we'd fall for it and shake our legs ever so slightly. Each and every time.

How fun for my dad. I never figured out how he knew we were really awake until much later. Such a eureka moment. :D

8. 人小孩与猫妈妈之争
My grandmother had a ton of feral cats that hung out under her house (the house was on blocks or something so there was an under the house). When I was small, probably around 5 or so, we went to visit and one of the cats had just had kittens so my grandmother had brought her into the house. I was told not to bother her, but it was kittens so I had to go look. As I approached her in her 'bed' with all the itty bitty kittens around her feeding, she hissed at me. Well I wasn't about to take an insult from a cat so I got closer, leaned over, and hissed back. I got a wonderfully deep and long scratch in the middle of my forehead for that.

9.You are an pure evil
I was in grade 4 and we were sitting in the gym for our monthly school assembly. I had to fart really bad. Normally my farts are silent so I didn't think too much about it but this time it was different. I think it might have been due to the way I was sitting with my legs up and crossed together or something but when I let it out it sounded like some little girl was screeching. It lasted forever too.

The gym was dead silent at that time so the whole school could hear it. Everyone turned to me and I was mortified. But thanks to my quick thinking I blamed it on the girl in front of me. The poor girl...

I guess this is more of an embarrassing or evil childhood story