编者按：结束上回对于剑桥雅思10里3.5分低分范文的纠缠。在剑10(5.5分范文)里，我们看到了写作考试评分系统的升级。那么剑10满分的考官范文又意味着我们应该做出哪些努力呢?请读下去。
剑10T1满分大作文
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
MODEL ANSWER
296 words
1.One important stage in a child’s growth is certainly the development of aconscience, which is linked to the ability to tell right from wrong. This skill comes with time and good parenting, and my firm conviction is that punishment does not have much of a role to play in this. Therefore I have to disagree almost entirely with the given statement. (59)
注释：conscience=moral sense
同义：tell right from wrong=learn the difference between right and wrong=distinguish right from wrong
注释：conviction=belief
2.To some extent the question depends on the age of the child. To punish a very young child is both wrong and foolish, as an infant will not understand what is happening or why he or she is being punished. Once the age of reason is reached however, a child can be rewarded for good behaviour and discouraged from bad. This kind but firm approach will achieve more than harsh punishments, which might entail many negative consequences unintended by the parents. (81)
按年龄分类讨论(very young child & infant)，两个层次论证惩罚的不必要性，并给出better solution。
reason我们学过的基本意思是“理由(n)，推理(v)”，但在这里它是“情理，理性(n)”之意，“Once the age of reason is reached”再次理解为“等他们到了懂事的年纪”。
“entail”=result in形象生动的“导致”——en动词前缀+tail尾巴“尾随而来——结果，后果”
同意表达积累：consequence=outcome=result
词汇变形：intend(v)——intended(adj)——unintended(否定adj)
3.To help a child learn the difference between right and wrong, teachers and parents should firstly provide good role modelling in their own behaviour. After that, if sanctions are needed, the punishment should not be of a physical nature, as that merely sends the message that it is acceptable for larger people to hit smaller ones- an outcome which may well result in the child starting to bully others. Nor should the punishment be in any way cruel. (78)
同意积累：sanction(n)=punishment=discipline(n/v)=time-out(n)
bully=frighten=hurt威吓，伤害
Nor should the punishment be in any way cruel. 否定副词句首倒装(句式丰富的一个典型体现)
4.Rather, teachers and parents can use a variety of methods to discipline their young charges, such as detention, withdrawal of privileges, and time-out. Making the punishment fit the crime is a useful notion, which would see children being made to pick up rubbish they have dropped, clean up graffiti they have drawn, or apologise to someone they have hurt. In these ways responsibility is developed in the child, which leads to much better future behaviour than does punishment. (78)
Rather，=of course，=on the contrary
young charges：charge此处是“被监管人，被监护人”熟词僻义，用词准确得当。
such as detention, withdrawal of privileges, and time-out举例论证充分合理(“detention课后留校，withdrawal of privileges特权收回，time-out惩罚”)Did you ever get a time-out?你有被罚过么?
Making the punishment fit the crime is a useful notion, which would see children being made to pick up rubbish they have dropped, clean up graffiti they have drawn, or apologise to someone they have hurt.举例详尽合理，增强论证的说服力。
综上，
(1)逻辑链接依然是写作的重点，而且明显出现比较地道的以前不太常用的衔接手段，比如rather=on the contrary转折关系。
(2)选词方面更加考究细致，词汇难度有明显的提升。比如conscience良心，道德;reason情理，理性;entail导致;charge被监护人，detention课后留校。
(3)词汇语法准确多样，比如consequence=out come=result in; punishment=sanction=discipline=time-out。
语法方面：
punishment does not have much of a role to play in this.惩罚不起作用;
if sanctions are needed, the punishment should not be of a physical nature就算惩罚有必要，也不应该是体罚;
Nor should the punishment be in any way cruel.(倒装)惩罚不应该残酷/严苛cruel=harsh;
Making the punishment fit the crime is a useful notion, which would see children being made to pick up rubbish they have dropped, clean up graffiti they have drawn, or apologise to someone they have hurt.长难句，非限制性定语从句+并列结构。
小站雅思频道提醒：通过以上分析我们不难看出，考官范文的难度无疑给想得高分的烤鸭们造成巨大的压力。综合提升写作实力似乎比单纯掌握写作技巧更能得到考官认可。阅读英文原版材料并积累、分析，在新时代的雅思要求下显得尤为重要。未完待续，敬请期待。
