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【雅思大作文】考官9分作文精读:大学通才教育/专才教育

编者按:今天给大家带来的是一篇关于大学是应该通才教育,还是该专才教育话题的雅思9分范文,作者是雅思前考官simon,采自他的博客。相信准备过雅思写作的同学一定不会对这种教育类题材陌生,整体而言,这道题目是难度不大的,但要想说到点子上,说出新意可不是那么简单。一起来看看考官是如何来回答的吧。


【作文题目】

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.(discuss/opinion题型)

【9分示例】

People have different views about how much choice students should have with regard to what they can study at university. While some argue that it would be better for students to be forced into certain key subject areas, I believe that everyone should be able to study the course of their choice.

【小编解读】导入段:话题重述+while(对方观点)+i believe(己方观点),2句话搞定导入。说实话,写法有点模板的感觉,可是仔细看下去,发现在这种有点烂大街的外壳下作者的同义转述用得那是一个惬意和自如,单单一个背景句写得就有点爆炸,瞬间甩开普通烤鸭几条街。People have different views about (宾语从句how much choice students should have) (高分介词短语with regard to)(宾语从句 what they can study at university)。同样是1句话,考官强大的语法结构能力使得它包含的信息量异常丰富。这就是他常说的作文的秘诀在于'content'(有料)

There are various reasons why people believe that universities should only offer subjects that will be useful in the future. They may assert that university courses like medicine, engineering and information technology are more likely to be beneficial than certain art degrees. From a personal perspective, it can be argued that these courses provide more job opportunities, career progression, better salaries, and therefore an improved quality of life for students who take them. On the societal level, by forcing people to choose particular university subjects, governments can ensure that any knowledge and skill gaps in the economy are covered. Finally, a focus on technology in higher education could lead to new inventions, economic growth, and greater future prosperity.

【小编解读】主体段1:观点句+观点解释句+论据1+论据2+论据3 。结构上这是一个很丰满的论证,一个看似清晰但是又有点笼统的观点句,搭配上一句观点的解释句,非常好的引入了作者的观点,同时告诉读者,重点在后面。而在具体论证的时候,从个人角度再到经济角度,再到全社会整个发展的角度,层层推进,显得条理,同时让人信服。如何用词简单但表意强大在这一段表现无疑, 例如provide more job opportunities, career progression, better salaries, and therefore an improved quality of life ,还有lead to new inventions, economic growth, and greater future prosperity这种局部的词组的排比表达好似一招”长江三叠浪“,看得人高潮迭起!

In spite of these arguments, I believe that university students should be free to choose their preferred areas of study. In my opinion, society will benefit more if our students are passionate about what they are learning. Besides, nobody can really predict which areas of knowledge will be most useful to society in the future, and it may be that employers begin to value creative thinking skills above practical or technical skills. If this were the case, perhaps we would need more students of art, history and philosophy than of science or technology.

【小编解读】主题段2:己方观点句+论据1+论据2。与上一段相比,似乎本段作者的论证力度减轻了,但是,其实要驳倒一个观点,只需要击其要害即可,作者深谙此道,轻描淡写的2条理由非常有说服力。1条”学生爱其所学,社会才会收益更多“,另一条”学生学习,其实是为未来所用,但是谁都不能确定未来一定最有用的是什么学科,所以把选择权交给学生,是最合理的“。所以,如果说主体段1展现的是作者的高超的武功招式,那么这一段展现的就是作者的深厚内功,即deep and round thought/ideas。其实还是作者所倡导的一种高分作文必备的”depth“和”content“

In conclusion, although it might seem sensible for universities to focus only on the most useful subjects, I personally prefer the current system in which people have the right to study whatever they like.(297 words, band 9)

【小编解读】结尾段:平静结尾,概述了对方的观点,同时重申了自己的观点,表达了对现有系统的支持。

【全文总结】作者的雅思写作观:

1. 7-分,你只需要通常雅思培训所强调的东西就能达到,如完整的文章结构,表达观点清晰,用词语法无纰漏(不求高级,但求没错)。

2.7+分,除了做到以上所有的,你还需要做的是有料有深度(content and depth)。也就是说越是到高分,越是内容的较量,语言层面的东西反倒其次(高级词汇语法)。

3.简单易懂永远比高级晦涩重要,无论是低分区还是高分区,都如此。

以上就是小站雅思频道为大家带来的一篇关于教育类话题的雅思考官9分作文,祝早日雅思写作学有所成,祝早日与雅思分手。


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