盘点雅思写作大作文之7宗罪（下）
- 2015年08月21日17:47 来源：小站教育作者：Phoebe
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雅思写作是极难的，要提高也是极不容易的，6分是一个大槛，大部分烤鸭会被卡于此。而以上，每0.5分都是一个不小的槛。究其原因，是烤鸭们多少都带着中式写作教育下的原罪。本文将一一对其进行案例解读，进行雅思写作必经的赎罪之旅。
7. 烂俗句式成瘾
直接搬出一篇习作，来make my point.
Nowadays, we have different way of life than our parents. We tend to criticize their thoughts and concepts for being not fit to such a fast growing society. However, some traditional ideas, in my opinion, are more valuable and should be inherited.
First, most principles, though dating from the past, own their values to the present and the future because they are the essences of our ancestors’ wisdom. They play significant roles in keep our society sustainable development from one generation to another. It is the heritage of traditional opinions that enables us to be frugal for living materials, natural and social resources. In contrast, if we judge the old ideas simply by its fit for modern times, it is more likely to deny those for which we are desperately look.
Meanwhile, it is noticeable that some tradition thoughts and concepts are increasingly integrated into modern world, especially in the domain of fashion design. The trend of back-to-ancients is a vivid demonstration in which the blend of traditional elements and modern design wins the popularity among younger generation. In this way, it seems arbitrary to assume that older generation’s traditional ideas are not the right way in the present age.
Despite, we still acknowledge that part of stereotypes desperately need to be reviewed or abandoned. Some obsolete viewpoints only followed the trend in the past and do not catch up the new generation due to their limitation. For example, gender discrimination existed in the past time but has been argued by the modern society, in which we advocate that females are able to have equal opportunities to chase their dreams, just like males do.
Therefore, it is carelessly to make a sweeping generalization that old traditions are not suitable to modern lives. It is rational to preserve those valuable and correct traditional ethics and discard the incompatible ones.
可以找一找这篇水平不错的作文，在句式使用上的一个特点，就是“It is”句型的泛滥，在全文的分布是：第2段，2次;第3段，2次;第5段，2次。最过分的就是第5段，只有2句话，就用了2次it is 句型。
笔者对此做的点评：我忍不住要重重地提醒你，你的全文中使用it is +adj的次数过多过滥，不信?你可以看看你的结论段。不要认为这种表达用得越多越好。使用这种表达，在我看来，是一种逃避责任的表达方式，因为你可以轻松地省去主语，用较为隐晦的方式来表达观点。
有些时候，处于需要，我们会选择使用某种句型。但如果因为习惯了不假思索的使用，而让自己的文章显得程式化，得不偿失。这6句，第一句之前已经做出了修改：Traditional ideas teach us to be frugal and always save for the future. 第2句” if we judge the old ideas simply by its fit for modern times, it is more likely to deny those for which we are desperately look“可修改为”If judging the old ideas simply by whether it is fit for modern times, we are more likely to miss what we desperately seek.“
8.总结
老外对什么是好的写作有很直白的标准，就是简明准确，用最简短的文字最快最准确地传达信息。广大烤鸭要做的，就是想一想，如何在表达very tired的时候，用上exhausted;如何在表达very interesting时，用上fascinating;在表达Traditional older-dominated organization forms an authority structure from elder to young时用上hierarchy;在表达be stuck by rigid thought or traditional process时用上get stuck in a rut;在表达jump out the classical solution时，用上think out of the box.
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