雅思9分写作高分范文

2025年12月10日09:46 来源：小站整理: 参与（0）阅读（309）

摘要：雅思9分写作高分范文

雅思写作Task 2 高分范文示例
题目：Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others think that this has little effect and other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

范文
It is argued by some that expanding sports facilities is the most effective method of enhancing public health, while others contend that this approach yields minimal impact and advocate for alternative strategies. This essay will discuss both perspectives before concluding that a multifaceted approach is indispensable.

Proponents of increasing sports infrastructure posit that accessibility is key to fostering a more active populace. They argue that by providing more gyms, swimming pools, and running tracks, the barriers to regular exercise—such as cost and convenience—are significantly lowered. For instance, the construction of free outdoor calisthenics parks in many Chinese cities has been shown to encourage daily physical activity among residents of all ages. This direct link between facility availability and exercise frequency ostensibly leads to reduced obesity rates and improved cardiovascular health on a community-wide scale.

Conversely, sceptics of this view rightly point out that mere availability does not guarantee usage. They emphasise that deeper societal issues, such as sedentary lifestyles driven by long work hours and the prevalence of digital entertainment, often outweigh the convenience of nearby facilities. A more potent approach, in their view, would be to launch comprehensive public health campaigns that educate citizens on nutrition and mental well-being, alongside implementing “sugar taxes” on unhealthy foods to deter consumption. For example, the sharp decline in soft drink sales following the introduction of such taxes in the UK demonstrates the efficacy of fiscal policy in shaping healthier dietary choices.

In my opinion, while sports facilities provide a vital foundation, they are not a panacea. The most effective strategy for improving public health must be holistic. This entails not only building infrastructure but also integrating mandatory physical education into school curricula, regulating misleading advertisements for junk food, and designing urban spaces that promote walking and cycling. Only by combining environmental, educational, and policy-based measures can a sustained and significant improvement in population health be achieved.

In conclusion, although expanding sports amenities can contribute to public health, its effectiveness is limited without addressing broader behavioural and socio-economic factors. Therefore, a synergistic combination of improved access, public education, and legislative action is paramount.

为什么这篇范文能达到9分？—— 评分标准解析
根据雅思官方四大评分标准，这篇范文的得分点如下：

1. 写作任务回应 (Task Response) — 9分
完全回答了所有部分：讨论了两种观点，并给出了清晰的个人立场。

立场鲜明贯穿始终：首段明确引入两种观点，结尾段重申“综合方法最好”的立场。

充分展开论点：每个主体段都有核心论点、解释和具体例证（如中国健身公园、英国糖税）。

2. 连贯与衔接 (Coherence and Cohesion) — 9分
逻辑结构完美：采用经典的“引言-双方观点-己方观点-结论”结构，段落分工明确。

衔接手段高超且隐形：

段落间：Proponents of... / Conversely... / In my opinion... / In conclusion...

句间衔接：They argue that... / For instance... / This direct link... / A more potent approach...

指代清晰：this view, their view, such taxes 等指代明确无误。

3. 词汇资源 (Lexical Resource) — 9分
词汇量广且精准：

同义替换丰富：improve public health → enhancing public health → improvement in population health；sports facilities → sports infrastructure → sports amenities。

学术词汇准确：proponents, sceptics, panacea, holistic, synergistic, cardiovascular, calisthenics。

搭配自然地道：yields minimal impact, fostering a more active populace, a multifaceted approach, comprehensive public health campaigns。

几乎没有错误：用词完全符合语境和学术风格。

4. 语法范围与准确性 (Grammatical Range and Accuracy) — 9分
句型结构多样且复杂：

主语从句：It is argued by some that...

状语从句：while others contend that...

非谓语动词：...driven by long work hours...

插入语：in their view

条件句：Only by combining... can a... improvement be achieved.

语法控制力极强：全文几乎没有语法错误，时态（现在时、现在完成时）、语态（主动、被动）、标点使用完美。

句子灵活多变：长短句结合，富有节奏感。

核心学习建议：如何利用范文？
不要背诵范文：考官能识别背诵内容，会导致低分。重点是分析结构和思路。