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Simon满分小作文详解9【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】

Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官,由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议,甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手,非常地道,言简意赅,和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比,着实让人眼前一亮。小站的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文,所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华,相信大家都可以扔掉模板,写出高分作文!

有学生问Simon为什么他的文章能拿到满分,他专门分析了一下自己满分的原因。今天我们就通过这篇流程图及范文来告诉大家为什么Simon的作文能拿满分。题目如下:

The chart below shows the process of waste paper recycling.


完整范文:

The flow chart shows how waste paper is recycled. It is clear that there are six distinct stages in this process, from the initial collection of waste paper to the eventual production of usable paper.

At the first stage in the paper recycling process, waste paper is collected either from paper banks, where members of the public leave their used paper, or directly from businesses. This paper is then sorted by hand and separated according to its grade, with any paper that is not suitable for recycling being removed. Next, the graded paper is transported to a paper mill.

Stages four and five of the process both involve cleaning. The paper is cleaned and pulped, and foreign objects such as staples are taken out. Following this, all remnants of ink and glue are removed from the paper at the de-inking stage. Finally, the pulp can be processed in a paper making machine, which makes the end product: usable paper.

(160 words, band 9)

Simon说,大家先仔细看一下这篇范文,想一想为什么能拿9分。首先,从段落结构上看,全文布局非常合理,条理清晰,从内容上看,它包含了图表中的所有信息,而且还大量使用高级词汇和语法,如:

Vocabulary

� there are six distinct stages

� from the initial collection... to the eventual production

� members of the public

� directly from businesses

� separated according to its grade

� Stages four and five both involve cleaning

� foreign objects are taken out

� remnants of ink and glue

� the end product

Grammar

� six distinct stages, from... to... (good use of 'from-to' after comma)

� where members of the public... (inclusion of extra information between commas)

� This paper (use of 'this' to refer back to an idea in the previous sentence)

� with any paper... being (use of with ing to add extra information)

� cleaned, pulped, taken out, removed (use of passive verb forms instead of nouns shown on the diagram)

� which makes the end product (use of relative pronoun 'which' to connect ideas)

相信大家都明白Simon的作文为什么都是Band 9了吧!今天的任务是背诵上面的Vocabulary及其用法,并充分理解Grammar将其运用到自己的作文中。今天先到这儿,下期见!

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