【9分作文盛宴】simon考官华丽雅思大作文详解10：电脑游戏

2015年08月19日14:24 来源：小站教育作者：Phoebe: 参与（1）阅读（8220）

摘要：Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官，由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气，尤其是他亲笔写下的那些满分作文。今天小站的Phoebe老师又帮大家带来一篇Simon的大作文的详细解析，今天是一篇discuss opinion文章，关于电脑游戏的利弊。

Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官，由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议，甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手，非常地道，言简意赅，和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比，着实让人眼前一亮。小站的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文，所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华，相信大家都可以扔掉模板，写出高分作文!

今天要分析一篇大作文。同学们在写大作文的过程中一定会有一些疑问，我在整理Simon和学生问答的时候发现了两个非常常见有用的问题，所以在这里跟大家讲一下，相信对大家有所帮助。

Firstly, Secondly, Finally这样的单词用多了好吗?

Simon是这样回答的，It's best not to use "Firstly, Secondly, Finally" twice in one essay. If we wanted to write a second main paragraph with three ideas, what could we used instead of "Firstly, Secondly, Finally" to organise them?

也就是说，这组词最好不要用两次。那么有什么能替代它们呢?然后Simon写了一个Example，让大家找一下他用了哪些词语替换的这组顺序词：

Three main factors are affecting health in modern societies. One problem is the lack of awareness among many people of the negative consequences of an unhealthy diet. This is made worse by the prevalence of fast food and processed food, which are full of fat, salt and sugar. Another key factor is the changing trend in lifestyles. For example, children’s hobbies now involve much less outdoor activity, and adults are less active as jobs have shifted towards sedentary office work instead of manual labour. In addition to this, time-saving technologies, such as cars, elevators, dishwashers and washing machines, have made people lazier.

Simon写得这段完全没有用到Firstly，Secondly，Finally，但是整个叙事逻辑有序，原因就是他第一句就表明有three main factors。介绍这三个因素的时候依次用one problem is…another key fator is…in addition to this…来表达，连贯清晰，大家可以充分借鉴，避免过多重复。

学生问，I am confused about the question "Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?". Is this an opinion question or discussion opinion question?

之前我们有讲过Simon把文章分成四大类，不同类型的作文其段落内容是不同的，所以有学生问了，像这种问法的作文是属于哪个类型的。以下是Simon的回答：

Strictly speaking, "Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?" is asking for your opinion (do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages?). Technically, you could give a one-sided "opinion" answer e.g. you could argue that there are many advantages and almost no disadvantages.

However, I think the examiner would expect and prefer to see a balanced discussion of both sides as well as your opinion. Therefore, I think it's best (and easiest) to write a discussion opinion essay.

总结一下，这是Discussion Opinion类型的，那接下来我们就来练一篇同种问法的大作文，题目如下：

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

完整范文：

Many people, and children in particular, enjoy playing computer games. While I accept that these games can sometimes have a positive effect on the user, I believe that they are more likely to have a harmful impact.

On the one hand, video games can be both entertaining and educational. Users, or gamers, are transported into virtual worlds which are often more exciting and engaging than real-life pastimes. From an educational perspective, these games encourage imagination and creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking and problem solving, all of which are useful skills outside the gaming context. Furthermore, it has been shown that computer simulation games can improve users’ motor skills and help to prepare them for real-world tasks, such as flying a plane.

However, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. Gaming can be highly addictive because users are constantly given scores, new targets and frequent rewards to keep them playing. Many children now spend hours each day trying to progress through the levels of a game or to get a higher score than their friends. This type of addiction can have effects ranging from lack of sleep to problems at school, when homework is sacrificed for a few more hours on the computer or console. The rise in obesity in recent years has also been linked in part to the sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise that often accompany gaming addiction.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of video games are more significant than the possible benefits.

(258 words, band 9)

virtual worlds: 虚拟世界

perspective: 观点，视角

logical thinking: 逻辑思维

ranging from…to: 重点词组，表示范围

console: 操纵台;安慰

obesity: 肥胖

今天先到这儿，下期见!

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