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【9分作文盛宴】考官华丽雅思小作文详解5:线形图

2015年08月12日16:38 来源:小站教育作者:Phoebe
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摘要:Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官,由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气,尤其是他亲笔写下的那些满分作文。今天小站的Phoebe老师又帮大家带来一篇Simon的小作文的详细解析,详情请见文章。

Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官,由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议,甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手,非常地道,言简意赅,和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比,着实让人眼前一亮。小站的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文,所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华,相信大家都可以扔掉模板,写出高分作文!

今天给大家带来一篇Line chart,也就是线形图的小作文。题目是

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

【9分作文盛宴】考官华丽雅思小作文详解5:线形图图1

说到Line chart,大家能想到很多和上升、下降有关的词汇,最为常见的有rise/increase/fall/decrease,还有一些参考书上给出了一些所谓更“高级”的单词,如表示暴涨的soar/rocket,表示暴跌的plummet,这些单词真得用了会拿高分吗?我们来看看Simon的看法:

When describing changes I prefer to avoid words like soar, rocket and plummet because they are too "sensationalist" - they exaggerate too much, and are more journalistic than academic in style.

Simon说他会选择回避这类单词,原因是它们太“耸人听闻”,太夸张,更新闻化,而非学术化。

Instead, we can demonstrate good control of grammar by using words like increase, rise and fall as both nouns and verbs:

相反呢,我们不如用这些常见词汇,但要注意这些单词的时态、词性,不要发生语法错误,比如看下面这些句子:

- London saw a significant increase in the cost of homes. (noun)

- The cost of homes in London increased significantly. (verb)

- There was a rise in house prices between 1990 and 1995. (noun)

- House prices rose between 1990 and 1995. (verb)

- There was a 7% fall in the average house price in Tokyo. (noun)

- The average Tokyo house price fell by 7%. (verb)

大家一定要掌握这些单词的词性,不规则变化要重点记忆,千万不要在这种问题上丢分。现在大家试着自己练习一下这道题目,可以利用前面几期提到过的4段式9句话的结构:

� Introduction: 1 sentence

� Overview (summary): 2 sentences

� First 'details' paragraph: 3 sentences

� Second 'details' paragraph: 3 sentences

【9分作文盛宴】考官华丽雅思小作文详解5:线形图图2

现在贴出完整范文:

The line graph compares the percentage of people aged 65 or more in three countries over a period of 100 years.

It is clear that the proportion of elderly people increases in each country between 1940 and 2040. Japan is expected to see the most dramatic changes in its elderly population.

In 1940, around 9% of Americans were aged 65 or over, compared to about 7% of Swedish people and 5% of Japanese people. The proportions of elderly people in the USA and Sweden rose gradually over the next 50 years, reaching just under 15% in 1990. By contrast, the figures for Japan remained below 5% until the early 2000s.

Looking into the future, a sudden increase in the percentage of elderly people is predicted for Japan, with a jump of over 15% in just 10 years from 2030 to 2040. By 2040, it is thought that around 27% of the Japanese population will be 65 years old or more, while the figures for Sweden and the USA will be slightly lower, at about 25% and 23% respectively.

(178 words, band 9)

最后来做词汇总结:

Compare:这个单词非常好用,既可以用于第一段替换show,也可以数据对比时,以…, compared to的形式做状语。

Under/below/over/around X%:%u6570字前的各种表示“多于”、“少于”等的介词要记牢。

By contrast/while表示对比,后面要接句子。

Respectively:分别地,雅思高频词汇,若一句话中描述多个数据,最好在句末加上这个单词。

今天先到这里,希望Simon的建议能帮到大家,下期见!需要更多写作技巧的点击这里

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【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】Simon满分小作文详解1

【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】Simon满分小作文详解2

【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】Simon满分大作文详解2

【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】Simon满分小作文详解3

【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】Simon满分大作文详解3

【雅思考官Simon满分作文传送门系列】Simon满分大作文详解4

特别申明:本文来自于小站教育【雅思写作】专栏,转载请以超链接形式标注本文出处,并附上此申明,否则将追究法律责任。
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